I skipped work to stalk him.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
