I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
