the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
