I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
