The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
