I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
