her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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