Don't you send me to vm
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
