Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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