I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
