If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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