Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Bring me that man meat
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
