Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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