He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
