He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
