Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
