The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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