The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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