he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
