Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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