alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
