youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
