so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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