I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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