I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
