She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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