I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
