hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
