That's intense
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
