we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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