I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. š¦
I just puked on a sprinklerā¦Motherfucker tried to spray me
Either it didnāt do much damage or Iāve lost all feeling in my asshole
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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