I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
