I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
