I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We are two peas in an std pod
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
