Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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