Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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