i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is the high leading the old right now
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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