If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
