Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm getting married
To pizza
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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