Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
