I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
