Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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