their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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