Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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