You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
