just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Randomize
