So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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