And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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