Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
