i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I woke up under a house in Key West
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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